pessimist? optimist?

 "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."               Winston Churchill



Hello Swarm Single Moms

Are you an optimist or a pessimist??
How you see yourself and how you see the world, greatly affects your children and their views of the world.

If you spent your pregnancy abstaining from all that may be harmful to your babies, then spent the ensuing years teaching them to wear a safety belt and a bike helmet, you made sure their shots were up to date, then kept them up to date..if you took all sorts of protective measures to ensure they would survive ... can you say that you took equivalent measures to ensure they would survive happily and thrive. You know... you can help to nurture how your kids view the world and whether they see their world as a glass half empty or half full.

Moms!!! Were you aware that you can help greatly improve the quality of your kids lives by teaching them to view the world as a happy and welcoming place.  Did you know that by teaching them how to adapt to change (and to view it as an adventure), how to tackle and solve problems (like they are building puzzles) and how to bounce back from adversity and challenges (i.e. you get knocked down, but you are not out of the game)... that you are increasing their likelihood for happiness.  When you teach them self-reliance and how to solve their problems (yes, including making mistakes) you are helping to create a mindset that helps them view the world as manageable.  

Let's take the time -  as we proceed through this life, to help create the mindset that this life is pretty dang good and that we have the power to make it better.  Let's protect our children's minds and positive personalities by doing all that we can to not create pessimists, nay sayers and all out negative people.  This life is good ... even when we have seemingly insurmountable struggles and challenges!  So let's do what we can to make negative, pessimistic and other nastiness ... disburse and disappear now!!!

Vacation/staycation

Hello Swarm Buzz Moms

We had spring break two weeks ago and instead of leaving on the Friday school let out and returning on Sunday, (the day before we go back to school and work) we came home a few days early and what a great idea that was.  It gave us a restful and relaxing way to prep for the beginning of the last term of the school year.   

I guess you could say we had a vacation, followed by a staycation!

The vacation part was spent out of town, doing touristy things, visiting with relatives, visiting museums, eating out, etc. The staycation was the opposite and it was just as good.  With no plans made I had a sleep-in until 8:30 am, and I still was up and running, having all my chores completed by 10, including my emails checked, kitchen and bathroom floors washed, bills paid and the travel accoutrements put back into storage. 

By 10:10 am,  I was ready to hit some sales. Unfortunately, there were no estate sales the first morning home so I did the next best thing . . . Popping some tags at the Thrift Stores!!!

With mocha lattes in hand, my tag popper partner and I were off.  We began at the thrift stores that were the farthest from our starting point so we could swing around at the end of the day, conveniently close to home, (with all our treasures!)

Store # 1 held many treasures.  My first find was a Vera Bradley handbag for $4.00.  It is a small handbag and I plan to sell it for $25.00.  I was going to sell it for $10.00 but my treasure hunting partner suggested $25.00.  She had gone online to see what the going rate was and some are selling for over $40.00.  Since I plan to sell mine at a school supported yard sale I think $40.00 will be over pricing for the patrons of this particular school.  I hope to make a profit of at least $10.00.

The next treasure was a Justin Beiber tee shirt.  I paid $3.99 for this shirt and it may be a gamble since Justin Beiber is 'so 2012', but I will offer the shirt for $15.00.  I want to make at least $10.00 on this shirt.

Both of these items were at the same store.  I also found a great table for $69.00 which the store manager offered me a deal, but I was not prepared to get a table home (I still have my vacation rental car) so I passed.  I will go back in two weeks and if the table is still there it should be cheaper and I will definitely consider it then.

The second store we went to is where I found my best deal.  I paid $8.99 for a Tadashi (Shoji) long gown.  It is a (steal) deal because my daughter wants it for her prom.  Yeah!!!  We also found an ABS sundress for $3.99 it has never been worn and it was also a (steal) deal.

We will attempt to sell the gown after prom for $75.00.  It may be a stretch, but Imma try!!! The ABS sundress I am sure, my daughter will have, (and wear)  for years to come.

My last week day of vacation, a Friday, was spent at estate sales, (it is what I do to relax).  Every single mom needs to find her way to relax.  It does not have to involve spending a lot of money (unless you have it and want to indulge yourself), but I rather like being thrifty.  It is a skill that I developed while raising my child on my own without the benefit of financial support.  You have to do what you have to do.  I must say, I would never have even considered buying used clothing.  I get furniture all the time and I love the unique finds, but clothing was a different story.  The Tadashi if it was worn at all, was worn one time.  One trip to the cleaners and it is all good! The ABS dress was never worn... It makes a difference to us!

I will let you know in future blog posts whether or not I have made any money on any of our treasures.

Did I tell you that I am saving for a trip to Scandinavia with my daughter.  It is years away, but it is fun making some money to add to our savings.  I recommend you find a fun goal and then plan a way to make that happen.   

Happy Tag Popping Peeps... My Swarm Single Moms!

Holidays on your own

Hello Swarm Single Moms

Today I post this on Easter Sunday.  A holiday. . .  and a holy day for Christians.

How do you spend these days when your children are with your ex and you are on your own.

Do you try to sleep in? Catch up on chores and responsibilities? If you are like some single moms who choose to stay at home and spend the time on your own, make sure you incorporate something that you enjoy doing into your day.  It can be lonely spending a holiday on your own.  But...it doesn't need to be.

Today take some time and give thanks for all your blessings and catch up on the things you really NEED to and then take some time out to spend on you. Call someone you know who is on their own or if you gave a 'maybe' to any invitation...Get dressed and GO!

Life is short. Don't spend it in too much self indulgence.  Get out there and live!

Talking to your kids about post high school

Hello Swarm Single Moms

This is a short blog post just to give you some information that you may want to think about over the weekend.

How far away are your children from graduating from high school? If they are freshmen in high school I encourage you to start speaking with them now about their dreams and goals for post high school.

I know that college is not for everyone, but continuing to learn should always be one of life's goals.  For the most part, the following statement is true: the higher your education, the more money you make.

This is true in most cases, but like everything else in life, there are outliers.  Plumbers, electricians, auto mechanics are a few jobs where you can make alot of money without a college degree.  Even elevator and escalator maintenance workers make over $50,000 a year.  My brother-in-law is a doctor and he said that these positions are actually better careers because there is no medical mal-practice and the hours are better.

So when you are speaking with your children, both the boys and girls, encourage them to follow their interests, but to be realistic about career choices.  You can have a job where you make enough money to have a good living AND one where you have time to devote to your other interests.  I know the mantra is to follow your dreams and the money will come, but the reality is that there are many college degrees that will not get you a good paying job.  There is nothing wrong with getting a job that pays well and where, if you keep in mind that it is only a job, you can still have your passions fed through activities outside of your job.

What will you do when your children have grown up

Hello Swarm Single Moms

It's Sunday. For some, today is a day of rest, a day spent with family and getting prepped for the week ahead.

Recently, I was thinking about my daughter and how her leaving for college will direct my feet onto a new path.  It has only been in the last few years that I have even thought about my life when she moves into her next phase of life.  I have friends with children just starting kindergarten in the fall and others who have just had their first grandchild.  I am at the somewhere in-between stage and as I move through this life I have a feeling this will be my hardest transition.  For eighteen years it has just been her and I.  I have made 99 percent of my decisions based on her and helping her grow up and get to this place where she is confident in her decision making and apprehensive, but excited about her future.

Until the day a couple of years ago, when she asked me what I will do when she leaves, I had never, ever thought about it.  I remember looking at her (maybe stunned) and answering that I will just keep doing what I do.  I work, I clean, I organize, I run this small grassroots organization...In other words I live a life.

But as the days and months and years have passed I have kept her question close to the surface of my consciousness.  What will I do when the most important person in my life moves on in her life? The person who most transformed who I have become and truly made me a better person than I ever would have cared to be.  So this morning, as I run my future through my head again I want to share with you the thought that we do need to think about the things in life that are painful and scary.  We need to make plans for our future.  Not just our financial future, but the future that will hold our happinesses and our dreams.  The time to plan is now, not when our children have already grown up, but while they are growing.  Where do you see YOU when your children go off to college?

What special treat can you plan for yourself while planning for your future.

Cheap food/Junk food

Hello Swarm  Single Moms

Happy Friday.  Tonight I shall send out a message on the importance of good, healthy eating while answering why junk food is so cheap.

First
Why is junk food so cheap?? It is cheap so you will buy it.  It is not supposed to be your meal, but in small amounts - a snack.  The problem here is that people eat the junk and then are too full to eat the healthy food.

Second
Think about this...how much food do you throw out???  and ... is it ever the junk food?  Or is it the healthier foods like veggies and fruits?  If it happens to be the healthy foods I would surmise that you are buying too much junk food which means that most likely you and your kids are eating too much junk.

This is bad because junk food has very little nutritional value and as a result, your body is not getting what it needs, in fact all you are getting is instant gratification.  Learn (and teach) that it is better to prepare a good, healthy meal than to down a bag of chips.  It is better to feed your body foods that it can use, than to stuff it full of harmful chemicals and preservatives that will result in:
1) aging faster than you will want.
2) breaking down lean muscles
3) internal organs
4) destroying your immune system

Instead of buying junk food, try an experiment with your shopping. (you know how I love a good life experiment ...) only buy healthy foods.  Splurge on foods like in season fruits and vegetables and read recipe books and articles on how to prepare foods using fresh ingredients.  You may be happily suprised how much better you will feel and how little food you throw out, which means you will ultimately be saving money.